A Little Pictorial

You might remember what my trash can looked like.....



But this is what the average college student's trash can looks like...


3 40s and a case of beers = twisteddddd

Sorry the pictures are sideways, I give up. Peace

The Big Bang

So yesterday when I blogged, I blogged too soon. Not more than an hour after I posted did roommate man walk back into the dorm. I'm looking at him right now, he's sleeping, and it's almost 1 P.M. Has he gone to class today? No. Has he gone to class before today? No, because he was home. Will he go to class tomorrow, if only to say that he went to school "this week"? No, I'll put money on that. Because Fridays are holy and must be observed by sleeping until the dining hall closes for lunch, leaving the blinds closed as to say "fuck you sun" for the majority of the day and then reveling in gallons of orange/cream soda. I hate this kid.

But to get to the true point of my post, last night everything changed. He came back, we silently said hello to each other and went about our business. You can call me a creep for this but sometimes I just like looking over and seeing what he's googling and doing on the internet. Usually he's downloading anime movies or learning useless facts that he can spout off at people in order to increase his asshole quotient. Last night I glanced over and notice in the search box it said "Knitting patterns". I'm thinking what the hell, is this guy into some really weird pornographic subgenre I haven't heard of yet or is he trying to make like granny right now. I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and just go back to what I was doing. Which was ignoring him. Then I leave for a min to play guitar hero and I walk back in my room and it's like all the forces in the universe had just collided. There he was. Under the covers, watching star trek, guzzling cola, and knitting. Knitting. You still with me? Knitting a fucking scarf. This was just on a whole other level, I didn't even know how to comprehend it, this kid is truly the anomaly of anomalies. One of the better parts of the night was when the ups man came knocking. Mind you, this is one of the burliest, hard ass motherfuckers to ever work for UPS. Chuck norris has nothing on this guy. He's got a fatty moustache, dark eyes with red hair, beef brisket arms that tear the seams of his short sleeved shirt and shorts even when it's storming outside. This guy even scares me. He comes to deliver a package and goes by our room and shithead gets it because I'm in the hallway and the UPS man just goes "Not shy about knitting are ya?" and I think roomie said something slick, or maybe nothing at all because his tongue has finally degenerated into a 3rd useless tonsil due to the fact that he has no intelligent thoughts that he needs to convey to any one else. Then I went to sleep and he just kept watching star trek. I guess all that klingon wore him out because he just approached the 12 hour mark on his sleep cycle. Does anybody know how much sleep is to much? Not that I'm worried or that I'm going to help him, just for my own knowledge....

-Peace

Edit: He is approaching 2 o clock ladies and gentlemen. This has to be some sort of record! I don't even sleep this late ever, even if I'm quaffing 40s for hours the night before.

It's been a while....

If my calendar is correct it's been like a week and a half since I last updated this thing. Last week had 2 midterms, a quiz, an interview and a whole bunch of other shit then top that off with 3 days of debauchery....yeah, not much time for the blog-o-sphere. There's my intro.

We had a 3 day weekend for president's day (what up ben-jammin) and my roommate decided to go home on Sunday afternoon ... and he hasn't returned yet. He told me he would be back on tuesday but that came and went and now I'm just living it up and going to sleep whenever I want and walking around naked and blasting music and dancing in front of the mirror. No homo. Only thing is, he left his computer here and his TV, so I figure he'll be coming back eventually which saddens me a great deal. Although I'm sure he's at home building a new computer as we speak because the graphics card he is running right now came out in november and that's soooo far behind. When you play RPGs you need to have the graphics running on max, because when you do that it's almost like you're actually in the game. And when you have no life outside the one you built online, I can see why you'd need the graphics card boost.

My roommate next year (Austin - MY BOY) was bugging roomie for the past 2 weeks about switching rooms with him. See Austin rooms with an uber douchebag much like myself (we have a lot in common) except his roommate is never around because he's so cool that he'd rather drink 40s and do coke and then pass out in his boyfriends bed on campus. I feel bad for Austin because given that this guy pisses him off so much that he wants to leave even though he's never around means he has to be an super shithead. I wouldn't know though, I've never talked to him. He was only around one night long enough to throw up on the carpet in the hall and then pass out in his bed. He had to leave his mark or something, unfortunately for us his mark left a stench that lasted a week and had to be cleaned up by the cleaning staff with wood chips, detergent and possible radiation (I'm not 100% on the last one). Back to the point of all this, Austin nudgingly asked my roommate if he was interested in switching because I don't talk to the kid, austin doesn't talk to his roommate and austin and I are living together next year so why the hell not. Well, even though austin told him he'd help him move all his stuff (TV, Computer, sheep skin blanket, cream soda etc) roomie still shut him down. He told the RA like "If austin doesn't want to live with him, why would I?" Which makes sense, but I also think it's out of spite and because we both live with assholes. Ah hell, I guess it's better this way anyways. If he did move out I'd have to delete this blog....and then I'd actually have to go do my math homework. Vector spaces anyone?

-Peace

Disgusting, in more ways than one

Whats up fam. I don't even know where to begin. I'm sitting here at my desk and it's now 12:22 P.M. I've been up since 8:30 and have gone to two classes with another still pending. Shithead sitting next to me is still in bed and has been since late last night. I shut the lights off at my own accord around 1 A.M. while he continued to play video games on the computer. I think the programmers created these games to be anticlimactic and extremely lengthy. It's called an RPG, or a Role Playing Game. It's kind of sad when you don't even have a life to live though, and the only one you live is on the screen. It's all this point and click shit with animated characters and spells and all that jazz. It's really annoying though when he has to buy 10,000 dollars in virtual money of some invisibility potion or whatever and he just has to sit there clicking and clicking incessantly. At least he finally turned the sound off. The character battles were just killing me. He would fight like 3 people at the same time so it would play the same noise, over and over, times 3. And then those sounds would overlap and I would want to shoot myself. And then that Rihanna song came on his iTunes and I went into the bathroom and tried to drown myself in the toilet bowl. Unfortunately they're trying to conserve water around here so they have low flush toilets installed and I couldn't submerge my face all the way. Needless to say, it didn't work.

Then I found something that made me want to throw up. Even more than the last post about the donut holes, the cinnamon gummi bears, the monster energy drinks and the kit kats. This is on another level, this was done intentionally to gross me out. On sunday night I return to my room around 10:30 PM and find monkey brains lying down on his bed vegging out with this Dominoes sunday special. Oh, what is the sunday special you ask? Well, it's not technically on the menu, and I think my roommate used the little brain power he posses to create it all on his own. Perhaps that's because no one in their right mind would compile such a repulsive, unpalatable, and vomitous list of pizza toppings. Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you...the most disgusting thing I've even seen...



And with that, I'm going to attempt to stomach dinner because I'm at a loss for words. Peace.

Oh yeah, it's super Tuesday. Get out there and change the world. Thanks.

Can't say I didn't do my part

Edit: As of 9 o clock tonight roomie is officially passed out with the sink light on. I guess all that right wing elitist banter he was spewing out to any one who felt like entering my room just tired him out. Tired him so much that he couldn't even make it 100 feet to our designated polling place to support someone on the republican ticket. Oh wait, he said he doesn't even care who wins, as long as someone running for the Republican party is in the final race. That's who he is voting for, no ifs ands or buts. I would reiterate the didactic repartee that occurred in my room earlier, but I zoned out and stopped listening because his entire life means nothing to me and therefore the things that come out of his mouth mean even less. Goodnight to all.

Double Re(mix):edit: It's a quarter to midnight, poohead is woke up at some point and is now watching jackass. He got a pizza from woodstocks and finished it off with this...

A personal pan cinnapizza

I've had a slice or two before and it's good, but only in moderation. Unfortunately, I don't think that word is in dudes vocabulary. He has to have a death wish I swear. It just doesn't make sense any other way. Okay I'm done with the edits and stuff. I need to get something done.

The super bowl hasn't even started yet and I hate it already. Who's idea was it to have a montage of a bunch of football players, television personalities, firefighters and policeman reciting the declaration of independence? Emmitt Smith? Ladanian Tomlinson? Is this what happens when you lose in the playoffs? I just want to watch football, save all this bullshit for the political debates.

New and Improved: With Pictures

What up fam. I don't know where I'm going with this one, I just know I have some stores to tell and some pictures to post. Last week was a standard 5 day week but it felt like it dragged on forever. So then the weekend came and I had a few natural lights and kicked it and slept late and all that good stuff. I went out last night with Gordon and these two girls, but we lost him real early in the night. I'm talking like 5 minutes after we entered the party. The girls felt bad and wanted to find him, but they just don't understand the inner workings of mantank, I was happy he left us. Just to be sure though, I called him up and in his slurred vernacular he told me "I'm going back to ft with this chick...I'm bout to fuuuck". I felt bad for the poor girl who had fallen at the hands of Gordo's huge rack and his baby gap tee. But then again, who wouldn't wanna bone this dude?





The second picture is one of those pictures you save and show your grand kids and tell em how you lived in the same house with that dude. He was so excited about the 90 dollars worth of alcohol he bought that he asked me if I would take a picture of him with it. When I told him it was hard to frame the shot, he just went into a pushup position without me even asking. Yeah, that's the dude you wanna bone on a friday night.

I told you that my roommate began his job as a CSO. Of course I did, I was so excited that was going to be out of the room for more then 30 seconds at a time. The first night was sweet because he just left at 10 pm and didn't come back until 3 am. I was almost starting to like CSOs, but not really at all. Then the next night He neglected to tell me that he in fact when ON duty at 3 am. So his alarm went off at 2:30 and I'm all whacked out because I don't know if I have class in 20 minutes because the blinds are always closed anyways so you can't ever tell when time it is and then I look up and he's like saying bye to his online buddies and my head is about to explode because I don't know why anyone would be depriving themselves of sleep just to play an RPG. Last night I talk to him, but that was just because I was leaned off a few drinks and I didn't care, and I wanted some entenmanns donut holes that he bought. Don't think I'm depriving him of nutrition, believe me, he had plenty to eat...



I'm not hungover or anything, but looking at that picturre makes me want to yack, right now. That's two boxes of entenmann's donut holes, a monster (plus a few more cans on his desk), a big bag of cinnamon gummibears and 2 big packages of kit kats, like so big I don't know where he got these joints. The monster thing is quite weird to me but I suppose I don't need to even point out the blatant irony that comes with a recluse, computer game playing, lying under the covers tv watcher who downs monsters right before he brushes his teeth. I'll leave the witty satire to you guys. Now, me and my roomie may have differing opinions about what exactly qualifies as a fun Friday night; but I woke up this morning and found this....



DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMNNNNNNNNNN. I thought waking up to a room full of empty beer cans and condom wrappers was crazy but fuck, when this guy gets down he GETS THE FUCK DOWN, word to james brown rip. It's like he's just eating all this stuff and telling all those morbidly obese people who can't get out of their beds, "Hey, I have a high metabolism so fuck you! I'm gonna eat my self in an extremely high bloodsugar induced coma because the weight certainly isn't getting packed on!!!" I suppose you need 192 grams of fat and almost 2 days worth of calories in the form of butter and sugar to give you the energy needed for a 5 hour long night of work. A night which consists of walking drunk people home and listening to them blab, then patrolling a few residence halls and telling people to keep it down, and then of course getting angry when you see an illegally parked bike and realize all you can really do is put a sticky note that says you bike is illegally parked. Because afterall, how are you going to impound a bike when the only way you can get around is to bike yourself? This guys middle name should be irony. And my middle name should be hungry, because that's what I am. Hope you enjoyed our time together, catch you later. Peace