Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I wrote this entry at 6 am.

I wrote this entry at 6 A.M. inside my head. That's when I woke up for my final that was today at 8 o clock. I forgot most of the entry because I had a 2 hour test about sociology and global inequality but I think you'll get the gist of what I'm saying. I wrote that recap post way too early, I thought he might let up with the brain deadness during dead weeks and finals week considering he has 4 classes which would mean 1 more final than I'm taking, but no.

So I live with this kid right, and he's a complete and utter failure at everything he does. I don't care how much he denies that or his family or anyone around him, this kid cannot do anything remotely productive. Thank god computer tournaments give out monetary prizes, otherwise I'd say he'll be living with moms for the rest of his life.

Back to the point of my story. I had this test this morning around 8 AM, so did my shithead roommate because we have class at the same time (so we have finals at the same time too). He hasn't been to class in probably 8 weeks. He had this Computer Science final the other day and when my friend asked him if he studied or knew anything he was like "Nope, I'm just going to play around on the computer a little bit, figure some stuff out" mind you that was at 3:20 pm and the final was at 4. He was back quick and told everyone it was a piece of cake. Yeah whatever, I peeked at your computer screen while you checked your chem grade and if my off the top of the head calculations were correct you're falling somewhere between a D and a C. Call me nosey, but fuck, I knew there was no way you could be doing well at all given the fact that only 2% of your time awake is spent not playing video games. So last night I get to bed around 12:30 after smushing a few last minute facts into my head and roomie is still bouncing around on the computer and doing whatever shit he does and I'm thinking...when is he going to get to bed? I mean, final is a 8, you think he'd get some shut eye?

No.

Yeah, he did it. He just stayed up the entire night. I woke up at 6 am to the sound of him printing shit out. I don't even know if he was studying or looking at W.o.W. forums. I'm starting to think he stayed up all night so he would have to deal with the shitty process of waking up to an alarm at 7 AM. This way he could just stay up for a long time, take a shower and go, never mind the fact that you've been up for 21 hours straight and you've been ODing on soda and pizza. That doesn't matter at all. All I can remember about this morning is being up at 6:30 mumbling to myself "I hate this fucking place, I don't know if I can last 3 more days. 3 more days son, that's it." If I do bad on finals because of this crackhead I might break skulls. Just watch.

Now that I got that out, it's off to study more. I'll probably hit this thing up with one more entry after finals and then it's set in stone. Thanks for reading this. Peace

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Ugh..

I know if you have work until 5 am you would most likely sleep all day, but isn't that just a figure of speech? Why do you actually need 12 hours of sleep? It's 5 oclock PM and you just woke up. Yesterday you woke up at 5 o clock and missed a perfect day. There was a fucking carnival outside, with a bbq, and music and 200 kids around the pool and you slept through all of it. It's fucking foul.

Okay, he woke up at 5 and now he's back in bed at 6. He's lying sideways under the covers watching television like he's got the flu or some shit. You're not sick, you're cancer.

Friday, May 30, 2008

2 Hours

My roommate was awake for 2 hours today. He's been playing this stupid ass video game until 5 AM for the past 3 days so in turn he has been sleeping all day. I left this morning at 9 o clock and got home at 7 PM. When I opened the door at 7 PM I woke him up, it was foul. Now It's 9 pm and he just got back into bed and is out, till when? I don't know....I don't really want to know. I'm going to go puke because he's gross. Peace

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Thought it was over...

I wrote the previous entry (see: recap) in wishfully thinking that I wouldn't have anything more to write and that my shitty days in 1214 would be over but roomie managed to surprise me yet again last night. SO he got this new computer game (and through some research I've found that it's called "Assassin's Creed") and it looks and sounds dope but then I realized in the end it's just him maneuvering this character around and halfhazardly thrashing a sword around and killing average looking people. Maybe I don't fully comprehend the games that he plays or I haven't allowed myself to become fully submerged in them but he gets way too much enjoyment out of these things.

Yesterday he woke up around 4 o clock, or atleast I'm guessing because I walked in shortly after. The lights were off and he was watching star trek under the cover (singular). After a minimarathon he started playing this game around 5 or 6 and I left around 7. When I came back at 10 he was still playing, after brushing my teeth and going to sleep he was still playing. Thankfully I was really tired so I managed to get some rest in this time around but he woke me up a few times just because he was clicking the mouse so damn much. He woke me up right as he was turning his computer off and shutting down to go to sleep, you know I wouldn't miss this opportunity to his the alarm clock and see what time it was. Any takers? Guesses? How about if I told you he went to sleep at 5:30 in the morning? No lie, that's when he hit the sheets. Now I'm freaking out because he's been on record to sleep 14+ hours in a row which would put him at waking up around 8 pm, just as the sun is all the way down. You know when you make those paper rings that are all connected and you rip one off each day as christmas draws nearer? yeah, 17 days and counting. Peace.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

RECAP

So I guess this blog is coming to an end. Not a premature one though, I've been wanting to do this for a while, you know, end one chapter of my life and begin a new one. I was going to wait until move out day or sometime thereafter when I'm sitting in my new spot with the ocean view and I don't have much to do but wake up and go on radio all day, but frankly the dining hall doesn't open for 30 minutes, I'm starving and I can't actually fall asleep in that small period of time.

*Aside: I might actually be able to since I was woken up twice last night. First at 1:30 by an intoxicated friend of mine who lives on my floor who walked in and jumped on my bed to say hello. And second when my roommate started expressing himself with expletives towards the computer monitor a little too loud for my slumber. Then I looked at the clock and realized it was 4 o clock in the AM and just gave a big "Whatthefuckisgoingon... type sigh"

So here I am. I like to do these blog entries before 3 PM because I can just sit in the dark, type them out and my roommate is none the wiser because he's just closing his eyes trying to pretend that the day hasn't begun even though it's technically half over. I don't want to make this sappy, but I also don't want to forget anything. I feel that there's really no need to rant since I've been doing that in the previous 30 posts in this blog, but I might have to make a few points.

I've just been thinking about the whole college experience and well here it is. I've already told my parents this, so mom you can just skip down a few paragraphs and dad I'm proud of you for making it this far because frankly I didn't know if you even read this at all, or maybe you have somebody read it to you because you can't read and that's all good too. I don't discriminate. So anyways, I actually had this conversation with Max on air this morning. College is about balance. It's about balancing academics with self indulgence. It's about doing the work to get by without sacrificing the opportunity to do whatever you want at just about any hour of the day. When it comes down to it, this school isn't too complex. It consists of 20,000 co-eds who need to make a grade for their parents, but at the same time want to drink and smoke as much as possible, lay out by the beach (preferably inebriated), find someone to have sexual relations with (preferably not for longer than a 24 hour span) and go to class just enough as to not have a guilty conscience. We work hard but our effort towards making grades is far outshined by our effort put forth to take a 30-pack to the face. Go ahead, eat a 2,000 calorie burrito at 3 in the morning, why do you think the restaurants are open that late? Of course it's acceptable! Freebirds does more than half their business between 12 and 3 AM!

Of course, this blog isn't about the other 19,998 kids. This one is about me and my roommate. I made the prior point to relate it to this guy who is sleeping 4 feet away from me. He's never drank, never smoked, never left the dark cozy cavern he's made out of our dorm room, probably never seen Del Playa beach, never talked to any girl except the one across the hall and even went home during Halloween weekend. Yet, he is the most self indulgent person I've ever come across, it's just that his tastes in selfmade luxuries hasn't matured to that of the rest of the UCSB community. He sleeps as much as humanly possible, he eats and drinks soda as if he's trying to reach a quota, he lays under the covers when he watches TV for mindnumbingly long periods of time and he plays video games that he is good at so he can talk shit to little kids over the internet. He knows he is always correct because his twisted vision of reality has lead him to believe that, and he buys copious amounts of comsumerist shit for ridiculously cheap prices so that he can say he "got it for cheap". It's all for show. He's compensating obviously. From the big flat screen, to all the new computer parts, to the new car, to the CSO uniform. You my friend, are practically indescribable. My vocabulary is not big enough nor does it contain an adequate amount of adjectives to correctly and thoroughly describe just how much of a waste of life you truly are.

Being thrown in a room with a stranger that you are "paired-up" with is one of the stranger institutions of college life. I can say whole heartedly that I would have preferred any other human being to share a room with. I know this is college and it's a time to escape but I would have even preferred to share the room with my mother or father, it was that bad. This guy did nothing for me. He lived his life, I lived mine, and yet his managed to impose on me in the worst ways. Somedays it was so bad I had to leave so that it wouldn't affect me too much, because if I let it get to me that badly, then he wins. And believe me, the last thing I wanted to do was let this guy win. He wins everything in his mind, I'm sure he's never been told no. He's taking this computer science class right now and you'd figure it'd be the perfect thing for him. He gets to type in shit on the computer all day long. What's more pathetic is that he is on the computer all day and never actually does the homework. He never cracks the book and when his friend comes in to ask how he's doing he always says "I'm screwed. It's due in an hour and I haven't started. Can I copy?" Everything, always. He's a self proclaimed genius who won't put out any effort whatsoever. Old einstein said it himself, Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.....

I want to say that I learned something out of this experience, but in doing that I would be implying that he taught me or that I learned on his account. That would just be giving him too much credit and he's the least deserving person in the world. I picked up this writing again just now at around 330 PM and he's furiously smashing buttons and killing goblins online. He's also breathing heavily every minute or so because he's so engulfed in the game that he's forgetting he needs oxygen. I'm so frustrated being here that I can't even think of anything remotely positive. So with that, I'll finish up the 07-08 freshman year wrapup when I'm in higher spirits. I think I'm going to go punch a wall now. Peace

Monday, April 21, 2008

You're still reading this blog??

So I realize I write in this blog about how much my roommate sucks and how redundant his lifestyle is but I forgot to mention how much this blog sucks and how redundant it all sounds. My roommate had class today from 12-1 and then from 2-3:15 and slept through all of em. He played this horrifically violent and realistic first person shooter game on the 360 for most of the day and I had to bear the cries of waves of Nazi's as he mowed them down with his WWII era sniper semi auto. Now he's watching sci fi channel, eating twizzlers and washing them down with a squirt.

I can't really be mad at him for sleeping through all of his classes though, get this. At 2:45 last night the fire alarm went off in our building. It wakes you up with strobe lights in the hallway and this blaring alarm that they can probably hear on campus. I hop out of bed, look down the hall to a bunch of people half asleep looking out their doors like "Do we really need to do this?" I mean, afterall there was no imminent danger, no fire ala "Backdraft", nothing. But we all get dressed in 12 seconds and walk into the parking lot. This scene is epic I must admit. 600 kids, vacating one tower, everyone is half asleep and all literally got dressed in the dark. Everyone is pissed off and wearing booty shorts with the biggest parka they could find because it's like 50 degrees out. Luckily the homegirl brought down the keys to her car so we sat in there and laughed at everyone on the outside. I know I should have been angered and dead tired but the situation is just hilarious to me and so I couldn't help but crack jokes for 20 minutes until the fire truck showed up. It's like this big show, everyone comes outside, waits for the fire truck to pull up with all it's lights going off to give the clear and then we can all go back in and go to sleep.

So I got back into bed at like 330 and went to sleep at some point. By roommate went into fucking CSO mode and was walking around the parking lot with a flashlight just incase the sun goes out. He's all talking to the CSOs and trying to tell people shit when he forgets the golden rule. We don't take your shit when you're wearing your yellow polo, we sure as hell don't listen when you're wearing an OC Choppers hoody and some starter basketball shorts. Plus since this bitch is nocturnal he figures since he's awake it'd be a perfect time to go get a sandwich. This dude just posts and eats his sandwich in the middle of the night since he didn't want to go to sleep anyways. Long story short, I get woken up again at 5 o clock in the morning because the nuclear holocaust, chernobyl worthy alarm goes off again and everyone once again vacates into the parking lot. I was in a goofier mood simply because everyone else was even more pissed off and I was ready to throw in the towel on sleeping period because I was more awake than ever and the dining hall opened in 2 hours and I figured there must be some party still raging from the night before...I got back to sleep eventually and woke up in foul condition. I feel better now that I've gone to my classes though.

Back to the situation at hand though, dude is just chillin under the covers with the blinds half closed to avoid direct sunlight. I need to slip him some vitamin D pills (right? Sunlight deficiency?). I'm going to eat because I'm starving. Peace.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Fuck My Life Part 2

My laundry is done in 29 minutes so here goes nothing. Right now it's 1 o clock and my roommate went back to sleep, yeah, like again. Let's see how it all started shall we?

Last night I was hanging out at the front desk because two friends of mine were working from 10-2 am so I thought I'd keep em company. I basically ended up working the entire shift without pay but whatever, I don't really care that much. Around 1230 AM this black lady comes to the front of the building and is just standing there with some puppy dog eyes. Doors lock after 10 so I opened it for her to ask if she needed anything. She walks up to the front desk and with this dead ass stare on her face says to us "Okay, I need to ask you guys something but you need to promise you won't laugh alright? Okay...where am I?" We tell her she's in Goleta California which is right outside Santa Barbara. I don't want to go through a whole mess of dialogue but when it comes down to it, this woman was trying to get from Gilroy to her house in Fresno:

Exhibit A

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This is where she actually went..

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DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNNNNN


I printed her out how to get back to her house but I just felt so bad, she said "That's what happens when you let a man drive! Go Girl!! Anyways, yeah she was a good 4 hours or more away from home and it was already almost 1 AM. Then I somehow brought up the fact that the beach was only a 10 minute walk and her eyes lit up like "Did you say the beach? There's a beach over here?" And I told her yeah and then said "Umm, excuse me, have you ever seen the beach?" And she was just in awe like "Nahhhh!!" I need to stay over night to see this!! Then she asked me where she could get a camera to show her friends and she got on the phone with her auntie talking about "Where my kids at" and I just wanted to crack up in laughter but I couldn't because I honestly felt so so bad. Plus I also heard her saying "When I get back to the car I'mma cut this nigga!" That freaked me out a little bit, I'm not gonna lie.

That was that, ended up crashing closer to two, much later than I expected. Then my roommate came home from "duty" (Without quotes just makes it sound like a job, it's more like boy scout camp) at 3 am and woke me up. Then I thought the sun had come out and it was morning already but instead he had just turned on the TV, when he realized he had woke me up he turned it off and then proceeded to start eating. This guy ate for like 20 minutes, just sat up in bed and started munching in pitch blackness. It was absolutely repulsive, I'm trying to sleep and all I can hear is him reaching into the gallon of bgoldfish box, getting some, and then crunching them around in his disease ridden mouth for a while before dumping the rest of the box down his pie hole. I think he finished em or maybe he just got tired because then he moved on to tortilla chip, his selected snack lately. He's been doing the chips and salsa thing all day now, with the thing of salsa just sitting on his chest, ewww.. So he's digging through this bag of chips at 3:30 in the god forsaken morning and all I can hear is him crunching away and the inside of my head is about to explode. For the first time in my life I actually felt full fledged anger. I couldn't do anything, everyone was asleep, I can't sleep in the study room, I don't know the people working at the desk, I'm tired, he's closed the window so I'm burning up and I have to hear him munching n chips. I was about ready to punch a hole in the wall. People ask why I never do anything to him, or ask him to change, and it's because I'm just a nonconfrontational person. I'd rather let it blow over than deal with it. I haven't talked to him in over 2 weeks so why should I start now right? But for that one moment, at 330 AM last night I was ready to get out of bed, walk over to him and bash his head in. I ended up falling asleep and then got woken up by his alarm at 8 o clock that went off 5 snooze cycles until he decided today wasn't the day to go to class.....WOWWWWWW.

Now it's 1:15 in the afternoon, my laundry is about done and I'm typing this in a pitch black room even though it's clear as day outside and as beautiful as christina milian in love don't cost a thing. Instead of playing some nice music and relaxing on a gorgeous day, I'm venting while the thing that I live with is curled up on his fucked up bed that looks like it came back as a movie prop from schindlers list, blinds closed, eyes closed just sleeping away the rest of the day. If anyone still reads this blog, is this fair at all? I feel terrible that my mother pays money for me to live in these dorms when I can't even live decently, I love this school I just hate the dude I share with.

The guy I was talking to last night at the desk is the homie, and I'm living with him over the summer. I explained all my problems with this guy and he was just like "This summer is gonna be so good, that you're gonna forget all the bullshit that came with having a roommate freshman year" And that's real. Peace

Edit: Dude just woke up at 4 PM because I just came into to fold my laundry. He propped himself up, turned on star trek and started eating gold fish without changing into new clothes, taking a shower, washing his face, brushing his teeth, anything. It's getting old though and I imagine anyone reading this blog is getting bored of me saying the same thing. He's like a broken record, how many times can you just sit, watch star trek, eat goldfish and guzzle a Barqs?! I think it's more than just how gross he is, it's the redundancy of his life that repulses me.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Fuck My Life

It's been a month since I've touched this thing and I honestly can't tell you why I'm sitting here typing up a big load of crap. I've been meaning to update this blog for a while but every time I thought about doing it I just got angry and went outside to lay by the pool, or I remembered that nobody reads it anyways so why the hell am I wasting my time. At the end of this school year I'm probably going to be so fed up with everything I was just put through that I'll just delete it and pretend it all never happened.

So here I am, it's a quarter to nine in the PM and I'm typing this to you in the dark. I had a friend visit this weekend but she didn't get to meet my roommate because he was asleep every time she came by. Yesterday it was 88 degrees outside and there were no vacant lounge chairs at the pool because half of FT had gotten drunk and brought a raft down. My roommate slept until 3 30 PM. I'm all for sleeping, but he literally woke up, rolled over to his computer, starting playing a game and then 2 hours later rolled back onto his bed to watch star wars and one of it's sequels while eating tortilla chips. Speaking of eating, I think he's finally getting fat. His face looks like it's filling out, but it might just be because of the jesus beard. I also say he's getting fat because only in the last week or so has he started to snore. Last weekend it was so bad that I had a pillow over my head and it still sounded like he was snoring in my head. I left the room to see if anyone was around to hear it but everyone was asleep. I went back to my door and I stopped to listen in because I could hear him through my door. It was like being in hell. SO I did was any self respecting man would do and I came back in the room, flicked the lights real quick, and banged around till he woke up and all was solved....till he started again at 8 in the morning. He also snores like a castrated animal, it's really high pitched and a little faint and then it just hits you like wham. This morning he was doing it and all I could do was yell "Shut the fuck upppppp" because it was that bad. I sat up and realized why he was snoring though, it's because he's asleep on his back with his hands folded behind his head. Like you would be doing if you were chilling on a beach towel or something, what a piece of shit right?

Next I got this problem with the windows because he's always sleeping and his bed is pushed up right in front of em so he's kind of like master in command of the windows, or the window guardian or something. Last night I got home a little inebriated and hot so I open the windows to get a nice breeze and I feel really good as I fall into my slumber. Only shit is that roomie gets off work at 5 am and when he comes home he closes them shits up proper so I wake up all parched and burning up because our room is like a sauna and the blackout shades are absorbing the 85 degree sun rays, plus it's black as hell in the room and i just want to go into the pool but the sunlight isnt too friendly to the remnants of Olde English still in my system from last night...Now it's 9:15 and this guy has been asleep since 6 or 7 even though he woke up from last night at 2. Basically he's been up for 4 hours the whole day and he left the windows open and it's cold as shit but I can't do anything about it because fixing the situation would mean I have to get on his bed and close them shits up, and I'm trying to stay as far away as possible from him and his bed. I have one question though, when you go to sleep at 7 PM and don't wake up until 10 PM, how do you know when to go to bed again? His day is so fucked up, he hasn't showered, hasn't brushed his teeth, hasn't eaten anything but some tortilla chips and a squirt and hasn't changed out of the clothes he went to sleep in last night. Plus, he started this new thing where he's like clearing his throat or something and it just sounds like he's spitting loogies in his mouth over and over again and he does it for minutes at a time. I don't want to hear that shit, take it to the bathroom if you ever use it ever in your life. FUck, I'm going to sleep, I'm so fed up cause dude ruined my weekend. God, it was amazing though, this school tops anything I've ever seen. And yes, drinking on the beach is legal FYI.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

My Roommate is Officially Nocturnal

Hello there. Finals aren't over, in fact they haven't started but I'm posting out of necessity and I just don't feel like reading chem right now. It's sunday, the last weekend before spring break and it's over already. I must say, I love going to the dining hall on saturday and sunday mornings just to look at everyone. You see all these people out in IV dolled up having a great time the night prior and then at brunch everyone looks like zombies who got their asses kicked by the night before. It's pretty funny. The only reason I hate brunch is because all anyone ever talks about is how much they drank and how much of it they threw up. (One track mind anyone?)

Anyways, back to the point of this post. Last night I went out and drank a lot of green beer. I was excited to try it until I looked on the side of the keg and saw that it said "Natural Light". And then once I tried it I was bummed because the sour urine after taste that natty light is known for now tasted like sour urine and food dye. Plus the shit turns your mouth all green too, it's disgusting. I love that I went out with 6 girls (6:1 ratio) and I still got shit for going in parties. Maybe it was because I wasn't wearing my "Kiss me I'm irish t shirt" like every jerk off at the frat party. I'm sorry that your game is screen printed on the front of your t shirt, and in the bottom of that red cup. Actually now I'm all off topic again...

So after eating a festive pile of nachos (lettuce, guacamole and jalapenos) I passed out in an empty room at about 2 in the AM, maybe later. Then I got woken up by my roommate at 5:30 in the morning as he came home from being on duty. My head was buzzing pretty good and I just wanted to get back to sleep. Then this guy gets in bed and starts watching the fucking television. I'm in my REM sleep cycle and this guy is just getting to back episodes of star trek after getting off work. I piled the covers on top of me and pretended like nothing was happening, but of course this just made me really hot since the liquid blanket from earlier hadn't worn off yet. Sleep.

I woke up at around 11:30 and caught brunch, which he slept through. He woke up around 1 to get some PSP playing time in, but he never left from under the covers. Now it's 4:30 and he's back asleep with the black out shades drawn. And people wonder why I'm never in my room. It's a beautiful day outside but he'll never see it. I don't really care though, he doesn't deserve to enjoy it. Peace all.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Narcaleptic?

800 - Woke Up
830 - Left to catch the bus
1015 - Got back from chem
1130 - Woke up from nap and showered
1200 - Ate lunch
1230 - Caught bus to class
140 - Just got home

My roommate hasn't moved. It's 1:40 and he's still just lying on his back half asleep, yawning, stretching and and groaning because he sleeps on a boxspring. 2nd quarter almost done, only 1 left. I don't want it to go by so fast but at the same time I can't wait to move the fuck out. See you after finals.