Good Morning...or afternoon

Today is the day I start blogging. See I'm not one for blogs, in fact I can't even believe I went through the process of registering and coming up with a silly little url and all that shit. But I felt that at this point I needed a way to get it all out.

See, I've been at school for almost 9 weeks now. It took me less than one to realize I live with a complete anomaly of the human race. Dude sleeps/spends more time in bed than he does sitting or standing. The only time he leaves the room is to go to the bathroom, which is connected to our room so I don't know if that really counts. Basically, dude is the laziest person I've ever met, ever. That's not called redundancy right there, that's called reinforcement.

I'd really love to introduce the guy, but I fear if I use real names, places of residence etc etc I might catch heat for this one. Let me just say he's not from around here. Although he says he is from california, I can't help but doubt him. Dude is from another planet.

So anyways, I decided to make this blog while I was riding the bus home for like the 5 minutes that it takes to get here from campus. I was just thinking about the inane amount of time I spend thinking about how much he doesn't do and thought I might as well write it down so atleast it all ends up somewhere. I left for school at 830 AM. My roomie has the same schedule as I do, and so you're probably thinking that he left for class around that time too. That's where you're wrong. See going to class would just make too much sense. I come back home at around 3:30 to find this bitch eating a bag of pretzels with the lights off under his sheepskin blanket watching Star Trek. Unfortunately, I haven't been home all day like he has and therefore cannot tell you exactly how he spent the time that I was out of the room. I can give you a rough estimate however:

He slept till 11, at the earliest.
Did not take a shower.
Played an MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game)
Got back in bed.

That's it. That's all there is to it.

My roommate is a self proclaimed genius. He introduced himself by stating his name, and that's he is already two years ahead (academically) of everyone else who lives on my floor. He has however, the social capacity of my unborn child, thankfully my unborn child isn't an arrogant jerkoff. He wears shirts that say stupid shit like "Genius by birth. Slacker by choice." If I saw that in a magazine I'd say to my self, "Wow, that's a pretty dumb shirt, I can't believe someone wasted cotton and ink making something so dumb." Then when I see someone like my roommate wearing it I think, "Wow, it's not that dumb anymore, this guy is just a fucking douchebag" The more I think about this self proclaimed genius though, I begin to think that maybe he is so much smarter than the rest of us that he doesn't even have to work. He just watches hours of mindless TV and rolls the secret to life around in his head. I always thought college was about deadlines, and work and stress and drinking. Yet dude has not seen any 1 thing from that list while in school. He has figured out how to beat the system, dude might be taking a few years off his life by drinking cream soda and eating microwave popcorn on the daily, but at least he is enjoying every moment he hasn't shaved off his age expectancy.

I'd explain everything that has happened prior to this incident, but it would just take too much time. It would probably bore you guys to death too. I forgot to mention this blog isn't so much for your entertainment as it is for maintaining my sanity. I doubt any body will even read down this far, if you have, congratulations. Sorry but I have no consolation prize for making it this far. I honestly don't care if people read this, I'll probably just look back on it at the end of the year and laugh. Or cry, because I spent so much free time of my freshman year in college chronicling the (in)activity of the turd that the share a room with. Yeah, Turd.

For the record, I hate blogs. I enjoy reading them every now and then but just how self absorbed does someone have to be to advertise their personal diary to the world. Maybe I never had one of these because my life just isn't that cool. That's why I've decided to write about someone else whose life infinitely more interesting....to watch. I'm sure dude is bored out of his mind on the daily but he keeps me wondering just where the ultimate limit of inactivity lies.